On November 3, 1971, the Utah Supreme Court handed down a ruling in the case of Ghost v. Ghost. At the time of the proceedings, neither Ghost nor Ghost was a ghost. It was a simple divorce proceeding, and Mrs. Ghost wanted a reversal of her divorce to Mr. Ghost because when the divorce became final, she would lose her share of Mr. Ghost’s railroad pension. Mr. Ghost was in ill health, and Mrs. Ghost needed his pension.
Divorcing a spouse can be a frightening thought, especially when the parties, like poor Mrs. Ghost, have been married a long time. Had the Ghosts gotten divorced twenty years later, Mrs. Ghost might have had her pension worries taken care of without having to appeal her case to the Utah Supreme Court.
Traditional Divorce, Terrifying Decisions
In 1971, a woman’s options in a divorce were limited. It’s hard to remember now, but as recently as the late 1960’s, a married woman could not apply for credit cards without her husband’s approval. A divorced housewife with no job skills, like Mrs. Ghost, had few prospects in the tumultuous 1970s.
Today, parties have equal rights to divorce, and equal say in who gets property, money, and children. That doesn’t mean that litigation is any easier on the parties than it was in 1970. Litigation means spending time in court, and more time in lawyers’ offices hunched over paperwork. Dissolutions that start amicably can rapidly become hostile as parties and their attorneys argue over bank accounts, retirement plans, and visitation schedules.
For those in the business of helping others with their divorce, a “traditional” divorce has other drawbacks. You will spend hours helping clients with discovery, trying to explain why they need to give their spouse the joint tax returns even though they both have the same copies. Phone calls will devolve into anxious tears about whether your client can survive on a partial salary if their ex doesn’t make the child support payments. There must be an easier way.
Fright-Free Separation
When clients like the Ghosts blow into your office demanding a divorce, at least half their anger is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the cost, and fear of losing everything they’ve worked for during their marriage. They want answers that will relieve some of their fears, and ease the tension that is making them so angry.
Amicable divorce guides people away from the fear and anger of divorce and lets them resolve some of their issues themselves. The goal of the Divorce with Dignity network is showing people how to take control of their divorce. If you can offer a smooth, low-cost method of resolving their differences, your clients’ fears will vanish in the sunlight.
Consider the Ghosts. By the time they reached court, Mrs. Ghost was (allegedly) screaming and hurling Mr. Ghost’s possessions out of the house. Mr. Ghost may have engaged in offensive conduct towards Mrs. Ghost and called her vile names. Cursing may have been involved. The record showed they had been separated and living apart for several years.
Today, a Divorce With Dignity Provider could have discussed things with the Ghosts before possessions were flung and vile names were uttered. The marital settlement agreement would have included pension payments for Mrs. Ghost so there would have been no need for a second round of litigation.
Whistling Through the Courthouse
Instead of hiding from the inevitability of a painful divorce, Providers should explain the process to clients, so they become part of it. Mediation encourages both parties to make their wants and needs known. Instead of late-night phone calls to the attorney, raking over old wounds, the mediation process lets the parties discuss the present and the future.
Amicable divorce requires both parties to be committed to the process. They must be dealing in good faith with each other and with the Providers assisting the process. This is where the Divorce With Dignity network can help. Our referral partners can assist when the process hits a rough patch.
The Ghosts’ trouble began when Mrs. Ghost found that she would be deprived of Mr. Ghost’s retirement pension. Under most state laws, a pension is part of the marital property, and a spouse may be entitled to a portion of the pension after a divorce. This is known as a “qualified domestic relation order” or QDRO. Calculating QDRO percentages can be so complicated that attorneys specialize in this area of law.
A better method in an amicable divorce would be for the parties to come to an agreement about how the non-participant party could be compensated instead of receiving the pension. This is where the services of a DWD Provider could have made the Ghosts’ divorce much less frightening. Had Mrs. Ghost’s post-divorce financial worries been addressed, she would not have had to appeal the divorce decree.
A Holiday Trick or Treat
Anyone who wants to join the Divorce With Dignity Network (and give clients a less frightening divorce experience) can set up a complimentary Success-Strategy Consultation. Should you join us, we will schedule your online launch training, create your personal business plan, deliver your tools and resources, and invite you to attend our regular workshops and conferences with other Providers in our network. You’ll be interfacing with clients as a Divorce With Dignity Provider within a month or two.
The DWD Network is dedicated to supporting legal professionals who like working for themselves and making things easier for clients at an unnerving time in their lives. You’ve taken the important step of striking out on your own, and we’re here to ensure you have a reward at the end of your journey: A viable business that supports you and your clients.
The Ghosts didn’t have a chance at an amicable divorce, but your clients will. Join us and become part of the Divorce With Dignity Network. Schedule your complimentary Success-Strategy Consultation today!
The author of this website and its posts is not an attorney, accountant, or licensed therapist and the information contained on this page and its posts should not be considered legal, accounting, or mental health advice. Please do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney, accountant, or licensed mental health professional if you have any questions.
